As we made our way to the venue, my friend Hoppo and I told Chas what to expect, what to look out for and what not to do.
This wasn’t our first rodeo. It was our second.
Chas, a friend of ours, had just broken up with his girlfriend after eight years together. When the opportunity to go speed dating again came up in 2017, I thought it could be just what he needed.
When we arrived, we joined a queue of people, whom we would obviously be having awkward, fleeting interactions with in a matter of minutes.
I overheard one girl talking about JD Salinger to a friend and tucked that away for later.
When trying to fill five minutes of chat with a complete stranger you need all the ammo you can get. And just like in war, I had to take down my rivals.
My first act of sabotage was to draw a penis on Chas’s clipboard. This is where you put a tick next to the table number where the girl you like sits.
He would have to explain it to every girl he met as he lurched from one table to the next.
A speed dating virgin, Chas had just learnt the first rule of the game: Never leave your clipboard unattended.
When time was up, we regrouped as friends once more and went to the pub for a debrief.
